Struggle with Materialism

I just graduated from college a few weeks ago and I received lots of gifts of money from relatives.  This is good right?  Yes, I watched in fascination as my checking account climbed to heights never before known in my starving college student days.  My mind already imagining all the lovely things I could buy with it.

But, I had to forcefully shut down that line of thought.  I had to switch into my newly formed financial mindset and thoughts of emergency savings, retirement accounts, investments, graduate school savings, and car savings all whirled around in my head.  Suddenly, I discovered that all that money sitting in my checking account was actually not that much after I divided it into all my other accounts and savings.  A few hundred here and a few hundred there and once again I was left with piddling amounts of money once again to spend on myself.  It was quite a disappointing experience.

I kept telling myself that I’ll be better off later, that I’ll retire in tropical islands with the money I save now, but the devil on my shoulder kept whispering to me “It would matter if I died early would it?  Someone else would just enjoy all the money that I had painstakingly scrimped and saved away.  They’d probably spend it on themselves anyways.  Why shouldn’t I just enjoy the now and make myself happy.  Live everyday as I’ll die tomorrow mentality is good!  Carpe diem!!”

But sadly, I swept that devil off the shoulder and transferred all the money to different accounts and now I’m stuck looking at the piddling amounts again.  I keep telling myself that it’s for a good cause: myself!  But, I still feel kind of bummed.


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